Orang yang senang menangis in public tak semestinya dia tu mempunyai hati yang lembut. Mungkin menangis tu salah satu cara dia nak lepas kan geram or marah.
Macam mana hati orang yang lembut ni? Hati orang yang lembut is the mix of these two; easy to forgive and mudah menangis. Mudah menangis to whom? To Our Creator. One very obvious example is our Prophet SAW. He forgave everyone who has wronged him though he never do harm to others and Rasulullah juga mudah menangis. While everyone was sound asleep at night, Rasulullah bangun malam untuk qiamulail and he cried to His creator. He complaint his worry and sadness about his ummah to His creator. Maybe ada banyak cara lagi untuk tahu jenis hati yang lembut but this is my way of understanding, this is how I understand it, so I'm here to share it with you. (Please note that this is an experience-based talk)
Maybe if we believe that everything happens by His will, every tests you face, every unpleasant human being's behavior, is all a test from Him, and a way of purifying your sins, it will be easy for you to let go. Let go of what? Let go of whatever it is that is bothering you; anger, rage, sadness, etc.
Trust me, I've learnt the hard way. I've learnt that even perangai manusia is a test for you. True, bukan senang nak sabar dengan kerenah manusia, but that's how you can practice patience. Sabar, fikir that this person is sent by Him to test your patience so you can practice your patience in order to be a better person. Sabar, fikir that mungkin this person is a test for you to purify your sins. Don't you want your sins to be forgiven by Allah? I do.
And, forgive. Untuk apa nak forgive? Untuk Dia. Sebab apa? again, everything happens by His will, so benda yang jadi tu mesti bersebab. Mesti Allah let that thing to happen ada sebab. So, in order for us to gain His pleasure, redha lah dengan apa yang jadi. Be a servant yang whatever happens pon, no matter how bitter it is to swallow you will be able to have patience. Senang je cakap kan, sabar. Tapi senang ke nak sabar?
Senang if we are grateful. Grateful macam mana? Kalau kita fikir, ada orang kena test lagi teruk dari kita. We would be so grateful with our test kalau kita tengok our brothers and sisters in Syria, Palestina, Sri Lanka, Rohingya etc yang kena test lagi teruk dari kita. Latest news, adik beradik yang hilang parents in a split second sebab accident. Tinggi dugaan dorang, nak compare dengan kita ni, apa lah sangat. Nak compare dengan dugaan faced by our Prophets tu lagi lah, macam macam kerenah manusia they had to face. Yet they remained patient. Kita ni, apa lah sangat? Memang la rasa sakit. Dah nama pon test, a trial for you, to see whether this trial will make you closer to Him or the other way round. To see macam mana character kita untuk handle test ni.
Ever heard of these sayings?
"Forgive others as much as you want Allah to forgive you''
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart"
"Forgiveness is a gift you gift to yourself"
Now why are these quotes stated that forgiveness is something related to ourselves and not the person that has wronged us? It is because forgiveness is a cure. A cure for what? A cure for your heart.
- When you forgive, there's no rage in your heart, there's no anger in your heart. Know that these attributes only contribute to harden your heart.
- When you forgive, you will be able to face this person, again. Whenever you meet them, you will be able to smile at them, you will be able to continue your relationship as usual. Instead of bermasam muka, which leads to darken the heart, you choose to make things better, by what? by forgiving them.
another quote that relates to yourself is:
"The best way to be able to forgive someone is to make sincere do'a for them"
Now tell me, when you're in anger, can you make a sincere good do'a to someone? No. The least do'a you could do is that you pray, hoping that Allah will give them hidayah or understanding, but are you sincere in making do'a to them? Or you're just too angry so you make sarcastic do'a? You know, these:
"Yelah, moga Allah bagi hidayah kat kau lepas ni bagi kau buka hati sikit .."
"Apa apa lah, semoga Allah bagi kau kefahaman ye"
No, it doesn't work that way. It only lead you to have more anger in your heart. In order to make sincere do'a for them so you could forgive them is that, you have to realise, people make mistake, and these people were sent to you to test you (notice how many times I use the word test), they were sent to test your patience, and they were sent by Him to you. and thus, this test could be one of His ways to purify you from your sins (bersangka baik dengan Allah), and of course you want your sins to be forgiven by Him right? and so, you need to forgive them and make do'a that Allah will grant them the understanding AND make do'a to Allah to grant you patience in dealing with human beings.
Now let me share you one hadith
In a narration by Al-Tabarani, Prophet Muhammad says:
“Shall I tell you something that will make your palaces in Paradise higher and that would raise you in degrees.”
They said:
“Yes.”
He replied:
“To be forgiving and to control one’s self in the face of someone who provokes you. To forgive a person who was unfair or unjust to you, to give someone in need who did not give you when you were in need and to keep contact with someone even though they did not reciprocate it.” source
and an ayat from the Quran
The Quran makes a connection between forgiveness (on our part) and our need for God’s forgiveness. For example in (24:22) “Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” In other words if one wants God to forgive their sins then they should be understanding to other people’s difficulties and forgive them. source
Ever heard of this;
"The stronger is the one who is quick to forgive"
But why? why the stronger is the one who is quick to forgive and not the one who asks for forgiveness? Because to forgive means to lower down your ego. The fact that you're denying you have ego is a sign that you're ego. Below is a video that I've watched years ago that has changed my ego level and I hope it will do the same to you, it's a worth-watching video.
With this, I shall let this video to be the ending of this post. I hope this post is beneficial for all of you. I really do.
And Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala knows best, till then, assalamualaikum lovelies :)
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